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Items performed at the
IBM 1401 Announcement Anniversary Luncheon

CHM, Monday November 9, 2009
by Jan Swanson Barris & Friends

Dear Robert [Garner],

As per your request, here is the Dr. Seuss poem that I read at the founders' luncheon. I was able to find it in my old AOL mail!

Also, in case you lost them, here are the words to the "commercial"

as performed by the "past their prime time singers".

Throw out your plugboards,
Hang up your wires,
Now you can have a stored program machine.

No need to worry,
You can have fun,
With IBM's fabulous 1401

Also, thank you again for all the work you put into making the 50 Anniversary Celebration perfect for the founders and guests. Everything was memorable and such a treat for us. We had a wonderful time and enjoyed every minute of it.

Jan [Swanson Barris]

You gotta read this out LOUD!!!!!

Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'coz the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall......

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse;
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk,
and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk,
then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?

Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives